Take our mall please

Saturday, April 22, 2005

Dear Editor,

I have friends who live in Uxbridge that can't wait to go shopping at our newly proposed Dowling Village. "How would we get there?" they asked. Well, you'd take Rte 146 south from Uxbridge. You could get off at the Rte 102, Slatersville exit and wind your way through town. After half a dozen traffic lights and a slow, single file crawl, you'd eventually get there. Or, you could stay on Rte 146 to the Pound Hill Road exit, but you wouldn't gain much time that way either. You'd encounter more narrow roads and several traffic lights.

You might try the Rte 104 exit, but it's really more of the same; single file through the same busy intersections. There is a 'turn-around' further down Rte 146 in front of "The Insurance Group" building. You'll have to slow down in the high-speed lane and cut across the accelerating traffic from Rte 146A; a tricky maneuver worthy of Mario Andretti. If 'near death' experiences aren't for you, just stay on Rte 146 until you hit the back up at the Sayles Hill Road light. The left turn lane won't be able to handle all of the "U" turn traffic, so it will back up into the middle lane, reducing Rte 146 south to one lane. You may have to wait for a few changes of the light before you can reverse direction and head back to the mall. Just be thankful you don't have to drive one of those tractor-trailers that they use for deliveries.

Hey, wait a minute, here's an idea! Why don't you build the mall in your town? You must have a couple of hundred acres of abandoned farmland that you could pave over. Nothing spells progress like acres of new asphalt with bright white and yellow striping. And let's not forget the cutting edge cement block architecture with the fancy veneers and snappy plastic signage.

Yeah, that's it "Take Our Mall, Please!" We'll drive up there, choke your roads and put a strain on your services. And, as we drive home you may here us mutter under our breath, "Thank God it's not in our town!"

Donal Gagnon
North Smithfield, RI